Guest List – why it should be your No.1 priority!

One of the first stumbling block couples often face when they’re planning their wedding is creating their guest list and as a result, is often something left until the venue has been booked. Yet, finalizing your guest list should be your first priority.

Your guest list and your budget will determine the venue you should select and therefore the style of your wedding. Many couples will select a venue because they love the style of it before actually finalizing their guest list.  This is quite a risky approach since you might realize further down the path that it can’t accommodate your number of guests or that it’s going to blow your budget away if you’ve underestimated your guest list.

So before you start looking at venue and dreaming of your fairy-tale wedding, take the time it needs (which might be a few weeks if your parents or families are involved in drawing the final list) to finalise your guest list.

I always advise couple to follow the following 10 rules:

1. Name a list keeper: whether it’s you, your partner, your mum or chief bridesmaid, appoint one person to be in charge of your list. That way, you’ll avoid mistakes when/if your list evolves and changes.
2. It sounds quite obvious but never invite more guests than you can truly afford. If needed, invite a small number to your wedding and wedding breakfast, and a larger number to a simple evening reception. It’s a much more cost-effective way of spending your wedding budget.
3. Never invite more guests than the venue can accommodate. It could be terribly embarrassing if they all decide to come! Equally, don’t assume that only 90% of your invitees will attend your big day. It’s just an average and your wedding might be the exception with a higher than normal acceptance rate!
4. Never invite someone that you hope won’t come. Work colleagues can always be invited to a separate private lunch or dinner instead, and you should question whether distant relatives you never see really hold a place at your wedding.
5. Don’t feel oblige to invite children if you don’t want to. Equally, your guests should never assume that children are invited if their names aren’t on the invitation. One golden rule: you either invite all the children, or none at all. There can’t be any exception (however, infants under the age of 1 are allowed because a breast-feeding mother simply cannot leave her child).
6. Invite live-in partners or spouses of invited guests. But you don’t have to invite a guest’s new boyfriend or girlfriend, especially if you’ve never met them!
7. Organise your guests by group (start with close family and friends, then move on to more distant friends, work colleagues, etc.). That way, if you need to reduce the numbers, it’s easier to identify who to exclude or include with less risk of offending anyone.
8. Double-check spelling and addresses. It could become quite expensive to send several cards to out-of date addresses!
9. Ask both sets of parents to check your guest list. It makes them feel involved in the process even if you’re paying for your entire wedding and helps avoiding issues further down the line.
10. Sleep on it! Don’t rush into finalising your wedding list quickly to get it out of the way. Instead, sleep on it for a few days when you think you’ve completed it to make sure that you haven’t forgotten anyone and you’re happy with it.

Remember that finalizing your guest list might involve some compromises from all parties involved, especially if your parents are financially contributing to your wedding and therefore have a say in your guest list. However, once your final guests list is drawn, searching a venue that fits your requirements and budget becomes much clearer and easier.